Allentown Lyrics - Ed Helms

Song Lyrics

Allentown Song Lyrics

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Well we're living here in Allentown
And he's driven our lives into the ground
When we woke up we were wasted and drunk
Phil got shot, we got beaten by a monk

I was happy and my life was good
Gettin' married like a dentist should
Roasting marshmallows on a stick
I got f***ed in the ass by a girl with a di*k

ALLEN: Haha, I remember that.

And we're living here in Allentown
But they're taken Teddy's finger now
And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose my sh*t
And shoot Allen in the face
And shoot myself

ALLEN: He totally butchered that song.
STU: Totally butchered my life.

[Thanks to Sally Shesaid, Katy for lyrics]